I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I supernannyed him into submission
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
