I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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