Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
