So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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