I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
