3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
