They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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