actually, I'm a sock model
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
