Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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