i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize