I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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