What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
