Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
