and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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