yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
