I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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