Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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