hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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