I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
farters have to be the big spoon...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
