like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Randomize
