they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
