Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
