When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
