I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
