It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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