so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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