next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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