did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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