dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
