either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
