I think I am morally bankrupt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
