If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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