Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize