he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
