i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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