Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
