I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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