Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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