I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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