please come you make the beer taste better
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
