i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
