I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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