so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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