do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
