But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
