My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
