she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
