so explain again why im purple
no
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
