I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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