I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
