oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
