well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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