There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
