Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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