Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
