woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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