I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
