Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
