I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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