I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
