totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
