Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
